Do you want your car washed?

Some things about Mongolia just trouble me ... well, not just me: they trouble all of us expatriates who live here. Certain happenings are frustrating especially when it seems that foreigners are being treated differently.

It often happens here that boys wash one's car unsolicited and then expect payment for a job poorly done. It would be difficult to endure at that, but it is especially difficult when I overhear the youngsters telling each other things such as, "Over there, a foreigner just got out of his car - go wash it!"

An American friend of mine came to Mongolia burdened particularly by all the poverty here. He determined by God's grace to give money to every person who asked him for some; not much, usually he only gave money worth 50 cents or a dollar, but he consistently gave to everyone who asked him. He even would make the effort to get the small bills in Mongolian currency that amount to about a half dollar or dollar from the bank in order to have something to pass out.

He gained such a reputation about town that groups of children would seemingly instantly materialize whenever we went downtown. We would step out of his car, begin walking towards a store or restaurant, and before we reached the door we would be surrounded by dirty-faced boys and girls holding out their grubby little hands for money. He would graciously and without prejudice hand them all a Mongolian bill worth fifty cents or a dollar.

However, if one of these greasy-palmed children dared to try to wash his car he would become upset with him. He could not speak Mongolian but still would often complain to the boy, "Why are you washing my car?" He would lament to me and others that he could not stand people touching his car with a filthy rag.

I remarked to him one day that his attitude seemed odd to me. To anyone who asked he was willing to give money without question; but if someone tried to earn his money by washing his car he would become upset. "If you want to give money away why not let them work for it?" I pointed out. But to some men, a car is an important possession and not just anyone should touch it.

Well, if you feel that way about your car, do not come to Mongolia and drive. Mongolian boys will spot you parking your car and run over to ask, "Do you want your car washed?" Sometimes they do not even come over but just wash it anyway. But now police are getting in on the racket.

Today, I parked my car to run into a building and conduct some car insurance business. I did not need any money and was not planning to buy anything so I came without any small change. I had some larger bills (the smallest amounted to about $10 US). So as I got out of my car and crossed the street I waved off several boys who asked me, "Mister, do you want your car washed." The boys often claim that they have no change and want to take the entire $10.

As I was on the stairs in the building, I looked out the window and sure enough my car's windshield wipers were sticking up - a common signal used by the boys to announce, "This car is to be washed." I frowned as I made my way out of the building. I had no small change and did not want to give up a whole $10 for a job not well done.

I got in my car and started it. Before I could pull out, two boys came and planted themselves on my window. It would be difficult - they knew this - it would be difficult for me to look behind me and pull out into traffic without running the risk of "accidentally" hitting one of the boys. Hitting someone with a car even if they are not seriously injured can be an alarming experience especially for foreigners.

I rolled down my window to have a discussion with the boys in an attempt to move them away from my car. The conversation went something like this.

Boys: "Hey, where's our money for washing your car."

Me [using my most authoritative voice]: "Did I ask you to wash my car? Why did you wash my car? I don't have any money to pay you (that is, I had no bills to offer them). If you would have asked me I would have told you not to wash my car."

Boys [looking a bit put out as if I had deceived them]: "But we washed your car."

Me: "But how am I going to pay you? I don't have any money [to pay you]."

Boys: "Do you have any money?"

Me: "All I have are big bills. Do you have change?"

Boys: "You could get change."

Me: "You get the change and I'll pay you."

At this one of the boys began to call to other boys - "Do you have change? Do you have change?" None of them had change. (Strange because they had been washing cars all day for small bills but suddenly they had no change.)

The other boy sat with his hands on my window sill looking dejected as if he had just lost his favorite pet. "Don't you have any bills?" he asked with big, sad eyes.

"I don't have any small bills," I repeated gently.

There were two policeman just down the street stopping motorists. I contemplated shutting the car off, getting out, locking the doors, and walking down the street to talk to the officers. But being a foreigner and seeing they were busy, I decided against it.

Instead I told the boy, "This is getting old. Just go." He had probably spent all of three minutes running his soiled rag over my vehicle.

He just stood there leaning against my vehicle his hands inside with his look of sadness. Finally, an older boy came over. With a very disgusted look the older boy said to me, "What! Don't you have any money?"

I responded firmly, "I didn't ask these boys to wash my car. If they would have asked me, I would have told them not to wash the car because I have no small bills."

The older boy asked, "How much change do you need?"

"Nine dollars and fifty cents," I replied knowing that fifty cents was the going rate for such a small service. "But these boys don't have change, and I didn't ask them to wash my vehicle. Do you have change?" I asked the older boy.

To which the older boy responded, "No, call the police." I was not certain if he was talking to me or the little boy attached to the door of my car, but I said anyway, "Call the police," little expecting what would happen next.

Within a minute or two, one of the officers made his way down the road, "Do you need change?" he asked holding out ten dollars worth of change the smallest of which was worth a dollar. I thanked him, handed him a bill worth $10, and took the money. Before the bills were hardly in my hand the policeman said in a surly manner, "Give [the boy] the money." At first I was surprised at his commanding tone, but taking the hint I took one of the bills worth $1 and handed it to the boy who then pealed from the side of my car and went off to make another dollar.

I was surprised first of all that a policemen had change and secondly that he seemed to be on the little boys side. I will not say any money changed hands for the policeman's part in finding change, but I will say that the policeman is well aware as I am that the going rate for the wipe down a person's car with a dirty rag service is only fifty cents. And I will say that it is very unusual for a policeman to leave his post in traffic to deal with other matters.

But like I say, if your car is an important possession to you and you do not want just anyone to touch it then maybe Mongolia is not the place for you.